Archive for the 'Media' Category


Bama’s season claims another victim
Originally uploaded by johnvierdsen

Our observers in Tuscaloosa early this morning observed the lifeless body of John Vierdsen, clutching an empty bottle of Captain Morgan, leaning up against the Bear Bryant statue in the plaza in front of Bryant-Denny Stadium.

Penned to his sport coat was a note explaining what happened:

Alabama’s football season is over.

After over a decade of wandering in the wilderness (with the exception of 1999, 2002 and 2005), the Tide went undefeated in the regular season, beating Tennessee, LSU and Auburn for the first time in the same year since Gene Stallings walked the sidelines. 12-0. It was nice.

But, then, Bama was beat by one man, St. Tebow. That was harsh, but everyone knows Tebow has the support of the Almighty.

What could not be comprehended is how a team from Mormon country, hilariously named after a Native American tribe (Did you say Utes?), could completely own one of the toughest defenses and offensive lines in all of college football.

It was just too much.

While Bama will be returning a number of very talented sophomores next year, Vierdsen cannot stand to watch the the Tide compete with bat-shit crazy Houston Nutt’s Ole Miss squad for another chance at the SEC title game.

And, on that note, John is checking out.

Roll Tide.

According to Vierdsen’s wishes, he will be cremated and have his ashes scattered over the Crimson Tide’s practice field.




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“W.” underperforms
Originally uploaded by johnvierdsen

Vierdsen likes Oliver Stone. He’s a weird cat, but “Nixon” and “Any Given Sunday” are a couple damn good movies. “W.,” though, Stone’s almost-comedic biopic of the President, wasn’t so good.

From beginning to end, you just expect more. Something better than the “Saturday Night Live” meets “The West Wing” (but not even close to being as good) dramedy that was put up on the screen.

Here’s the strange part: John and his friends were really confused at the end of the movie, but figured it out a few moments later. In the final scene, President Bush is watching a baseball game (probably in the College World Series) between Texas and Miami. A Miami player knocks the ball over the centerfielder’s head and a Hurricanes player crosses home plate.

The announcer, though, said something about Texas scoring and going up. Now, at first, you could dismiss the thing as a bunch of West Coast liberals who know nothing about sports fucking up the operation. However, Stone’s a big sports fan, and never would have let something like that happen.

Our conclusion: It was done on purpose. Something to say that Bush thinks he’s winning, even when he’s losing (eg. Karl Rove saying “You’ve got your math, I’ve got the math”).

Alabama Football

Dave Martin/AP

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