Crimson Sith leads team into Baton Rouge

The Associated Press
Originally uploaded by johnvierdsen

Vierdsen is developing a nasty man-crush on Alabama head coach Nick Saban. Why? Well, just ask the Drive-By Truckers, who said, “There’s few things more loved in Alabama than football and the men who know how to win at it.”

Since the reign of Bear Bryant, every coach, even the ones that have sucked, have won 10 games by their third season. Gene Stallings won a national championship. Mike DuBose, who couldn’t find his ass with both hands and a flashlight, managed to beat a Steve Spurrier-coached Florida team in Gainesville, then embarrassed the Gators in the SEC Championship game en route to a soul-crushing one-point overtime loss to Michigan in the Orange Bowl.

Douchebag Dennis Franchione won 10 games, but hamstrung by probation, didn’t get an SEC title game shot. Mike Shula went 9-0 before tanking to LSU and Auburn, then knee-capping Mike Leach’s Texas Tech offense in the Cotton Bowl.

Dark Lord Nick Saban, who is a better coach than Bama’s last several captains combined, has Tuscaloosa in a frenzy. He’s led the team to a 9-0 record and a No. 1 ranking in just his second year, while playing more freshmen than 90 percent of FBS teams.

Mississippi State and Auburn, the Tide’s last two opponents in the regular season, should provide tough but very winnable games. The only scary part left on the schedule is Saturday’s tussle with LSU in Baton Rouge.

The Cajuns, those that are coonasses and those that are not, will have bellies full of booze and gumbo. Thankfully, it’s a mid-afternoon game (3:30 on CBS). Anybody that watches SEC football knows that a night game in Death Valley is pretty close to a death sentence, so Vierdsen owes CBS a steak dinner.

Bama comes into the game with the gambling degenerates on its side. The open line had the Tide at 2.5, and it’s gone up to 3.5. Still, John is frightened. The Bayou Bengals have exceedingly good talent. But, it hasn’t always shown up. Quarterback Jarrett Lee, an absolute P-I-M-P in high school, has made (redshirt) freshman mistakes. The defensive secondary has shown it can be exploited. Tide man-child (OK, in the Muddy Waters tradition, he’s a MAN) Terrence Cody will be back to create headaches for the offensive line.

That’s to say it looks good for Bama, but it’s college football, and anybody can win on any given Saturday. Expect Vierdsen to be generating ulcers with every series.


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