21
Aug
08

‘Sweet tea vodka’ is so not good OMG disgusting what a mistake holy hell…


cocktail.com
Originally uploaded by johnvierdsen

Sweet tea is good. Vodka is good. The two together is what Vierdsen used to drink when he was swiping his parents’ booze in high school. Hence, it is quite foul when you’re using fresh sweet tea and top-shelf vodka, much less something mixed together in a vat and made to sit in a bottle.

The first time John ran across this abomination was at the house of Vierdsen mère a few months ago, as she was pouring the hellish concoction into a flask for an upcoming funeral (the Vierdsens are classy like that). She, who lives out of state, received the bottle as a joke from a couple she’s friends with that live in Columbia. John sniffed the bottle and passed judgement on the godawful thing it was.

The only reason it has caught on, from John’s eye, is that it includes some sort of sweet tea, which is a pretty close variant to Holy Water in the South. Also, it’s made in-state.

But, guys, just (or, maybe, particularly) because it’s from a South Carolina company does not make it good. At best, it should be considered a well beverage to get freshman girls drunk on at fraternity parties, much like the nasty Long Island ice tea pre-bottled awfulness you will find at Green’s.

This infatuation has to stop now, before every hot girl on campus rots out her teeth on this unfortunate substitute for a real drink.

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5 Responses to “‘Sweet tea vodka’ is so not good OMG disgusting what a mistake holy hell…”


  1. August 21, 2008 at 9:20 am

    Dude, you’re nuts. How did you drink it?

    Mix half vodka, half water, and add some lemon juice.

    Did you try that?

  2. August 21, 2008 at 9:28 am

    That recipe could make it tolerable, but Vierdsen still has a couple problems with the idea. First, is pre-packaged tea. John’s upbringing made him a sweet tea snob, and there’s nothing he can do about it. Then, there’s also the sweetness, ironically enough. Too much Ice 101 drinking in college killed John’s ability to enjoy sweet alcoholic beverages without an apocalyptic heartburn scenario.

  3. August 21, 2008 at 9:56 am

    I feel you on the sweetness. There’s nothing like a pina colada hangover.

  4. August 21, 2008 at 10:41 am

    I’m telling you, 3 months and at least a hundred dead freshmen from now that stuff will be off the shelves.

  5. 5 Briley
    October 6, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    I’m not sure what the author is talking about. I work a distributor and sell this product. It is the hottest new spirit in the market right now. I have not had one single person who’s tasted it say anything remotely negative. I have over 300 accounts under my supervision in Florida and more than 50% of them have this product…..most sweet tea is just made with high fructose corn syrup anyway….this product will be around for a while….


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