McCain should reject and denounce John Rich

Originally uploaded by johnvierdsen

When Vierdsen heard that John Rich (half of the unholy country music duo Big & Rich) was endorsing Sen. John McCain, and playing at an event for him, he couldn’t believe it.

How could McCain be this stupid? Is it the fact he lives in Arizona? Does he know anyone that cares about college football?

Rich has been a part of defiling Saturday mornings in the fall for millions of people who start their football day with a drink and ESPN’s College GameDay.

Witness the gnashing of teeth from Every Day Should Be Saturday:

ESPN will film the opening for GameDay at USF and has requested the wearing of “generic” shirts to the shoot. Fuck ‘em USF fans: singlet guy wouldn’t go there without Bulls gear on, and neither should you. In fact, if you can take over the whole production by force, do so. Depose Big and Rich–”The red states love country with a hip-hop flair!”–and insist they use something, anything else as the theme. Khia’s “My Neck, My Back” (TNSFW) would be fine, for all we care. Just stop the WANNA LITTLE CHANG IN YOUR CHING CHANG! plague that has afflicted our college football nation for oh so long at this point. You’re our last hope, USF. Make it happen.

Yay, hate! Boo, hating things we like. Ever see one of those realigned maps of the world not placing the United States at the heart of the entire universe? If you look at most of them, it’s actually more like they’re putting the island of Curacao at the center of the universe, where it certainly is for Andruw Jones and people who like getting drunk on blue liquor.
That’s precisely the vibe we get when reading Tallahassee.com. Everything seems normal; nay, even exceptional at times. You’re sailing through a quality piece like “Ten Things We Hate About College Football,” enjoying a snappy, perfectly digestible piece of snark:
1. College Gameday intro music- My idea of starting Saturday off right does not include Big and Rich or Bubba Sparxxx in any form or fashion.
w00t WWL hate! Hate hate hate!

Please do not prolong the withering career of Big and Rich another second. The specialized lyrics may keep them on the ESPN payroll for another year, but the mayfly’s life that is their career is done. We have lyrics for their final “special edition” song:

Well we’re coming!
And we’re shittaayyyyy!

If you wanna little (SPLASH! AIIGGHHHH!!! ROAAAARgggHHHH fip fip fip fip fip fip..aaiiighhn…)

That noise is a shipping container full of hungry, rabid wolverines being dropped on top of the C-list country duo just after being doused in chicken blood. If the budget doesn’t allow for this, we’ll understand. But after two years, it should be clear that no one wants any more ting in their ting tang, no matter how delightfully suggestive that may sound, since it would involve Big and Rich, whose appearance would serve as a powerful contraceptive to all but the most beer-soaked and undiscriminating brood mare.

And, that’s only a sample from the most-read college football blog in the country. There’s more vitriol toward the supposed “musicians” in the comment section, but that would take way too much time out of playing for my band, Cut & Paste.

See the horror in the YouTube clip below, but keep the children away – we must think of the children!


0 Responses to “McCain should reject and denounce John Rich”

  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Alabama Football

Dave Martin/AP

Email for John

Site Hits for John

  • 111,239 tays

Facebook John


Twitter Vierdsen

Picture 2

%d bloggers like this: